New Year, New You — But Deeper
This post is part 1 of a 5-part series on identity change.
Instead of focusing on habits, goals, or fixing yourself, this series is about choosing who you want to be — and letting everything else follow from there. You can read this series all at once or take it one step at a time. At the end of the post, you’ll find a worksheet to help support you.
I was losing a lot of hair. Like I mean a LOT. At first, I thought…is this…perimenopause? Maybe. Then I was like, yeah my diet hasn’t been the best over the last month or so. But…no, those didn’t quite feel right. Then, this morning, it hit me. I’m convinced that every once in a while, we all need to shed parts of ourselves. I mean, it already happens for most women, monthly. So, it must be natural. I felt into that feeling of “shedding” a bit more and I realized that 2025 was the year of the wood snake in the Chinese Zodiac! What do snakes do y’all? Yes! They shed their skin! Finally, at the end of 2025, I started shedding the parts of me that need to be shed. It’s actually been showing up in lots of ways for me - in my physical body (shedding weight, hair, and I’ve had some interesting skin things crop up - energetically speaking, this is trauma exiting the body), in my career (left one job, started a new one), and in literal content that has been showing up for me on YouTube and Instagram is all about…shedding an old identity and stepping into a new one!
So, I guess it’s time to finally listen to the messages the Universe is sending my way! I’m being called to step into a new version of myself. And if you’re reading this, you likely are too. The truth is that this has been in the making for me for a while now. Last December was when I actually saw it starting to play out, in fact. It started with my old job and things just feeling really misaligned for me there. I thought it was the job. Now, I’m realizing it was me. I cared a lot about those dolla dolla bills y’all, but I was starting to feel really weird about the way I was making that money. I was showing up, doing my job, doing it to the best of my ability, but I was miserable. And then I did something crazy - I quit! In December, I made the decision to quit my job and in January, after I figured out all the logistics, I finally took the plunge. I had no plan, I had no job lined up when I quit, but it felt damn good. I knew something would work itself out and it turned out that on my last day at the old company, I ended up with two offers. I accepted one that felt aligned with who I was becoming and then I took a vacation. I went and communed with my friends and the trees in Tahoe for a few days, and while that vacation was a nice break, I’m not going to lie - it took me like 8 months or so to completely shed the remnants of those feelings and the identity I’d built at my old job. And it still bothers me from time to time.
The truth is that at every stage of life, you’re called to step into a new version of you. Let’s face it, as fun as it might be to have someone else feed us, carry us, and change our diapers, we can’t remain babies forever. And even though it’s the most natural thing in the world to go from being a baby to being a toddler, it still comes with its challenges. You’re learning how to talk and you constantly mess up your words or people just can’t understand the weird toddler language you’re speaking. You fall down all the time while trying to stand up and walk. You go through growth spurts so you’re irritated, your body hurts, and you’re always hungry. You have tantrums and piss everyone else off. We just don’t remember all those things, but they definitely happened.
Now, think about something a little more relatable. You’re finishing up college and you’ve gotten your first job. All of a sudden, you go from being in a relatively protected and confined environment where you had a set trajectory, to being a working adult. Being a young professional has its perks! You’re making money, maybe for the first time in your life. You can eat whatever you want whenever you want. You can spend your money on whatever you want. And there’s so much more cool stuff you can do as a working adult.
But, the growing pains are so much harder, subtler, and more complex than when you were a kid. And if they haven’t hit you yet, they will. As I told my friend the other day, no one gets out of life unscathed. And that’s not a threat or negative thinking. It’s just important to be aware of the fact that everyone struggles in one way or another. Learning how to pay your taxes or manage your money, navigating complex and nuanced romantic relationships, friend drama, negotiating a salary or asking for a raise at work, learning your career isn’t all what you dreamed it would be and figuring out how you’re supposed to do this for the rest of your working life. Lots of obstacles and emotions come up, but we don’t just give up! We’re constantly trying to better ourselves - meaning, we’re always trying to shed the old in favor of something new.
So, rather than just letting it happen to you, be intentional about it. Purposely step into a new identity altogether and ask yourself, “Who do I want to be?” Not the same old, “What do I want? Or, “What should I do?”
When you’re a creator - like we all inherently are - you can make a decision to create a different version of yourself any time you want and go ahead and step into that version. It sounds a little nuts, right? Like, you’re probably asking yourself, “Is Tanuja saying that if I’m a computer programmer and I want to be a lawyer that I can?” Or let’s take something a bit more subtle. “Is she saying that if I’m an introvert, that I can be an extrovert? Or, “Is she saying that if I’m single, I can be part of a couple?” Or, “Is she saying that if I was just fired or laid off from my job that I can just go get another one?”
YES! The answer to all of those questions is Yes! You can be, do, or have anything you want! Now, I’m not saying it’s going to be easy or that there won’t be roadblocks. There 100% will be obstacles in becoming a new version of you. But that doesn’t mean it’s not worth going through them to get to your goal of inhabiting a new identity.
But first, let’s go over the simple 5-step process needed to create the new identity.
Decide who you want to be.
Explore who this person is.
Release your old identity.
Embody the new identity.
The new identity becomes your new normal.
Remember, I said simple. Not easy. Let’s dig into each of these steps a little more.
Step 1: Decide who you want to be.
Honestly, this is the hardest one for most people. Just being really honest, this is a very hard one for me personally. There are a couple of things that tend to happen here. Either they want to be lots of different versions of themselves at once or they don’t want to make the decision to create a new identity. I’m the kind that doesn’t want to make the decision to create a new identity. Part of that for me is a fear of failure and, equally, a feeling that I’m not deserving of this new identity. I’m here to tell you that you ARE deserving. Just by virtue of your existence, you’re deserving.
For most of us, we let identity evolve naturally and passively. New jobs, relationships, seasons of life - identity changes around us. And that works… until it doesn’t. At some point, you reach a season where growth stops happening automatically and starts requiring attention and intention. Where identity can no longer just change around us, it must change WITHIN us. This is next-level sh*t. DECIDING who you want to be feels consequential. It means something. It closes doors. It asks something of you. It requires commitment and belief, not just curiosity.
If you’re having trouble figuring out who your next-level version is, a helpful way to approach this is by looking backward first. How did this past year feel? Where did pressure dominate? Where did you abandon your own instincts? Where did you rush, overthink, or seek reassurance instead of trusting yourself?
From that reflection, you’ll bring awareness to what worked, what didn’t and what you want. Then a new identity begins to emerge - answering that question, “who do I want to be?” becomes a lot more obvious. Not as a fantasy, but as a correction.
For the sake of this process, let’s choose an example to work with:
“I am a woman who prioritizes my mental and physical well-being every day.”
