Explore the New Version of You
This post is part 2 of a 5-part series on identity change.
Instead of focusing on habits, goals, or fixing yourself, this series is about choosing who you want to be — and letting everything else follow from there. You can read this series all at once or take it one step at a time. At the end of the post, you’ll find a worksheet to help support you.
When you get to this step, it helps to sit either in silence or with some calming music, close your eyes and envision everything about this new identity. I personally find it really helpful to write all this out in a journal. I write the new identity statement at the top of the page and then essentially write stream-of-consciousness about what I would do, how I would feel, act, think, etc. if I was this person (at the very least, answer all the questions below). After writing, I’ll read it a couple of times and then that night or the next day, I’ll sit quietly, close my eyes and start visualizing what my perfect day would look like and feel like as this person. If sitting in silence or with music is hard for you, you might want to try a guided visualization. There are tons on Youtube. Here’s a guided visualization that’s just about 20-minutes long.
What does she look like?
What kind of hairstyle does she have?
How does she dress?
What colors does she like to wear?
How does she smell?
What does she eat and drink?
What does she think about?
What does she talk about?
What types of shows does she watch?
What music does she listen to?
How does she feel about her life?
How does she feel in specific situations?
What does her environment look like?
Where does she live? What’s her favorite spot in her home?
Does anyone else live with her?
How does she make decisions?
What types of decisions does she make?
What car does she drive?
How does she behave?
What does her day-to-day look like?
If you need to write, rewrite or adjust your journal entry after this visualization, go ahead and do that now. You can also record a voice memo of what you saw or experienced. You’re trying to create something you can go back to over and over again to remind yourself who you are in this new version of you. Basically, you’re trying to “bottle” what you experienced so you can start to live from that new identity.
…continuing with our example below…I know it’s long, but detail is extremely important here and it’s really important to get sensory with it so you can actually FEEL what’s going on:
She looks rested — not because life is easy, but because she pays attention to her limits. Her posture is relaxed. Her body feels like a place she lives in, not something she’s constantly managing or fixing. She dresses for comfort and confidence, choosing clothes that support her day instead of complicating it, all with an elevated look.
She eats in a way that nourishes her, not according to trends or extremes. She drinks water, tea, coffee - sometimes mindfully, sometimes automatically - without turning it into a moral dilemma. She thinks about her health as something integrated into her life, not something she’s “on” or “off” with.
She talks openly about rest, boundaries, therapy, movement, and energy without apologizing or over-explaining. She watches shows that help her unwind instead of overstimulating her, and listens to music that regulates her nervous system — calming when she’s overwhelmed, energizing when she needs momentum.
She feels generally supported by her life. In stressful situations - a demanding week at work, family obligations, emotional conversations - she checks in with herself instead of powering through. When she needs a day off, she takes one. She puts her phone on DND. She doesn’t give in to doom scrolling or watching or reading the news. When she doesn’t want to go to that party next weekend, she says no. Her environment reflects this priority: a home that feels calming and functional, with a favorite spot where she can decompress. She lives alone and her space supports her well-being. She loves candles, so there are organic, soy candles throughout her living room. She finds neutral colors with a touch of green relaxing, so she’s collected furniture to support that aesthetic and has added some succulents and plants to her space.
She enjoys stretching and pilates, so that’s how she gets her daily movement in - feeling into what she needs on that particular day. Maybe what she needs is a walk among the trees. If so, she doesn’t hesitate to get outside and even if her walk is just 10 minutes, she feels totally renewed.
Her day-to-day includes small, consistent choices that add up: movement she enjoys, food that fuels her, moments of pause, earlier nights when needed. She makes decisions by asking, “Will this support or drain me?” - and she respects the answer.
