Your New Identity Becomes Your New Normal
This post is part 4 of a 5-part series on identity change.
Instead of focusing on habits, goals, or fixing yourself, this series is about choosing who you want to be — and letting everything else follow from there. You can read this series all at once or take it one step at a time. At the end of the post, you’ll find a worksheet to help support you.
Eventually, prioritizing your mental and physical well-being stops feeling like a deliberate decision. Some new identities take longer than others so don’t worry if this doesn’t feel like you’re new normal yet.
But, at some point, you’ll start to notice that you don’t need reminders to check in with yourself anymore. Your intuition will automatically guide you to notice when something is off.
This is what people call “manifestation.” I personally love that word and subscribe to the idea. But, as much as I love the woo-woo side of this, manifestation is not magic. Practically speaking, it’s neuroscience.
When who you believe you are changes, how you move through the world changes -- and that changes what shows up in your life. You notice different things. You’re waking up your Reticular Activating System (RAS). Your brain is literally filtering in and out opportunities based on your new identity. You tolerate different things. You make different decisions. Over time, your external reality catches up.
You’re rewiring your brain. Like I said, simple, but not easy.
The integration might not be as obvious as waking up one morning and realizing you’re hopping in your workout gear and going outside for a walk on autopilot. It might be more subtle than that - just realizing you’re not as stressed out as you used to be. You’re not as worried about saying no to something you don’t want to do. Or not feeling guilty if you need to take a nap…or not feeling surprised when you no longer need to take naps! Or maybe it looks different - maybe you’re getting flooded with interesting ideas. Or you’re getting inspired by art you never used to care about. Or you’re embracing spirituality differently.
Instead of wearing those old scratched up sunglasses you were wearing before, now you have brand new, clear lenses through which you view everything - planning your days, making commitments, evaluating opportunities, creating relationships, and so much more!
All these things are your new identity, yes. And they are also indicative of your nervous system breathing a sigh of relief. When who you want to be is the same as who you are and what you do and think and feel - that’s alignment. And it feels really good. Really calm. You no longer seek validation from the outer world and you don’t feel like you have to “prove” anything to anyone including yourself.
